Boyfriend found out about my past

From the U. At first, I tried to deflect the question but I had to answer him. I lied and gave him a very low number, because I knew he was a jealous man. But I felt so guilty when he said he was really glad I waited for him, so a few days later, I decided to tell him.

He had a very tough time dealing with it, and he made me promise him that there was no more. Months went by without me feeling so guilty about it. Right after he made me promise him, he told me he wanted to marry me. I could not help but feel terrible about myself, and how I lied to him. I eventually confessed my number to him less than 10and he became so furious to a point where he called me the s word, and various other names that I never ever dreamt I would hear from anyone.

This lashing out on me continued for a month, but he still says he loves and he wants to be with me. I never asked for his number, but when I finally gave him my number, he told me his. It is double mine. He said he still wants to marry me and that he will get better over time. However, I cannot get over the fact that he called me these names and how horrible he made me feel about myself, but I love him so much.

What should I do? This man bullied you for a month and you still want anything to do with him? You are You have a past. So does he.

boyfriend found out about my past

The boyfriend is old enough and should be mature enough to know that the reason you withheld information is that you, rightly, feared he would be unduly upset. If this relationship is to have any chance at all, he needs to show more insight and understanding, not jealousy, about your concerns.

Marie Hartwell-Walker Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor.I keep thinking that my BF is lying or hiding something from me. Just this weird intuition I've been having ever since we moved in together. So I've manage to get the password to his email. Bad girl, I know, but hey, this is something I felt I had to do even if it ruined the relationship. So now I know the truth. I found emails about the tons of women he slept with, drugs he took, people he hurt and laughed at and he even goes on to brag about cheating on his girlfriend who he told me cheated on him and ruined their relationship.

Now I find out it's the other way around and with several, several, several women and one time where a hook up with two possible women didn't happen because he was sick, so she stayed home to care for the SOB. I know everyone has their "past", but I have never had a one night stand. I'm a good, single mom. I know that the person that I am would never, ever think of doing the things he has done or may do in the future to me. If this were you, would you stay knowing that deep down inside this mature, I wanna grow up and have a family facade, there's a monster within?

I know there are things in everyone's past that they are not proud of, but these things I've read absolutely disgust me. And now I feel like everything that comes out of his mouth are lies and bullcrap. Can I get past this? Should I? First of all if you really felt like you needed to know the truth about his past you shouldn't have been sneaky and broke into his email. There are other ways about finding out information Second of all, since you know what you did was wrong by breaking into his email and even said you don't care if it ruined your relatioship why don't you just ask him about it.

Talk to him. Communication is the key to every and all relationships. First of all, You shouldn't have went through his stuff with his password. Second, The past is the past. Everyone at some point in their lives, they do stupid and immature things. Some people learn from their mistakes. But some people don't.

You're gonna have to make a judgment call since you know him best.I don't know what to do. I've been married for eight and a half years and I have two beautiful kids.

Help! I just found out my boyfriends past!

My marriage is not great but it hasn't been that bad either. A few days ago, my husband found a piece of paper related to my sexual past.

boyfriend found out about my past

It affected him very much because he didn't really know much about it. He has been depressed and we really don't know how to handle the situation. I understand his shock because I have never been a party girl. He says he never expected me to have done some of the things I did. I blame my background a little bit for having had the desire of certain experiences.

I was born in Taiwan, but my family moved to Argentina before I was five. Growing up in a country where my physical features were very different from the rest was not easy. I was always shy and had very low self-esteem.

My parents were very strict and I helped them with a store we had since I was little. I had my first and only Argentinian boyfriend when I was 20 which is older than the average first timer.

I was always studying and working. I moved to the US a few years later and once here, I felt free in many ways. I didn't have my parents breathing on my neck all the time although I lived with an aunt who was also strict, but not as muchI started driving by myself, and I didn't know anybody.

I met someone and dated him for a while. After several months, we broke up and I started dating another person. The same thing happened with him.

After breaking up with him, I thought about the fact that each of them was from a different nationality. I also started feeling like maybe true love didn't exist. Something happened at that point in my life that made me want to experiment. I was still a very responsible student and working hard to pay for college. My aunt didn't let me get home after 12 at night, but I managed to find excuses and the time to be out when I wanted.

I wasn't really looking for a long-term relationship, although I was kind of hoping for one. I was driven by a twisted desire to try out new things. I wanted to see how far I could go and how much I could be "appreciated". I was a fool, I know now. I kept trying to compare guys from different countries. I made a list with all their names and nationalities to stupidly keep track of my escapades.

All this happened in a period of about two years. Finally I met my now husband. We worked in the same place and we started dating. From the beginning I felt like he could be the one.So basically last month I started dating this guy.

He was amazing, one of the most unique people I've ever met. Handsome, muscular which I like very successful and independent, extremely intelligent pretty much the whole package. Had no family as a kid and basically turned nothing into everything and I just fell really hard for him. I'm 24 and he was For his age he's accomplished more than what most men in their 30s have accomplished.

Already put down money on a house, left home when he was I sort of lied though about my past relationships, he was in a long term relationship for 4 years before and I said I've only been with a few guys all which were long term relationships which wasn't true. I have a good friend I've known since I was 19, she's been dating this guy for about 2 years now. When I was single I used to have threesomes with her and her boyfriend, just every now and then. He didn't know about any of it but for some reason I think he just had this bad vibe or something.

He told me a few days ago there was something off about how I acted around them, like he knew something was up. At first he didn't say anything, he just stayed silent but I could tell her was raging inside his head.

Later that day he called me and said he can't keep dating me, and for the fact that I'm still friends with them is even more messed up and he's not okay with that at all and I said they're my friends still. He said I'm sorry but it's over, you aren't the person I thought you were. Since then he won't talk to me and told me to please move on.

I'm pretty upset, is there anything I could do to have him take me back? I know he can pretty much any girl he wants honestly, he can get someone just like me but who hasn't done what I've done before that he wasn't okay with.

Life ended when my parents found out about my secret relationship

He has a strong sense of morals and I know he's going to end up with a girl that fits his morals and it really makes me sad it can't be me. He also mentioned he thought my friends boyfriend was a douchebag, and couldn't believe out of any guy it would be a guy like him too sort of one of those guys who is carefree, long hair hippie type guy and my boyfriend is the complete opposite, a lot better looking, very successful and pretty much just the other side of the spectrum.

boyfriend found out about my past

I am glad that you came clean to your ex-boyfriend. Every man needs to read stories like this and understand what the modern woman is really all about.

Where have all the good men gone? Plain truth and no BS analysis into what men face today Women do whatever they deem is within their own best interests. They give not a damn about you or anyone else.

This story is but one of many examples of this.These days, it's remarkably easy to find out whether someone has a violent or criminal past. Most criminal convictions are part of the public record, which means that anyone can access them through courts and national agencies. The drawback is that convictions are jurisdiction-specific, and records will likely only be found through the county courthouse or statewide database where the crime was committed.

You might have to search in multiple places for a full record. As a minimum, you'll need your boyfriend's first and last names, places where he has lived and the locations where an arrest was most likely to occur. This might include surrounding counties if your boyfriend moved around a lot or lived near county lines. You'll get more accurate results if you also know your boyfriend's date of birth, middle name or names and past and current addresses.

Knowing these details will avoid mismatches, especially if your boyfriend has a common name. Each state and county keeps a criminal history database of crimes committed within its jurisdiction, although not every court offers online access. The first step is to visit the court system in the state and county where an offense might have taken place and see if it maintains an online database of rap sheets. On the Texas Department of Public Safety website, for example, you'll find useful "how to" guidance for searching the state's criminal database by name.

Many counties have similar criminal history search facilities. If no online database exists, you'll have to visit the county courthouse or sheriff's department in person. Give your boyfriend's name, and ask to search the files for records of conviction.

This should pull up a list of convictions, arrests, warrants and pending charges, except for certain arrests that occurred while your boyfriend was a juvenile.

Another exception is if the court has sealed or "expunged" your boyfriend's record. This might occur for minor transgressions for which your boyfriend finished his sentence and did not offend again within a specified time. Department of Justice, contains the locations and identities of known sex offenders in all 50 states.

Every citizen can search the database free of charge. Criminal background search services such as Zabasearch and Intelius will scour court conviction records for a one-time fee.

Mismatches are relatively common, so be sure to give as much identifying information about your boyfriend as you can.

Next, type your boyfriend's name into a search engine like Google or Bing. This could pull up information that might not be included in a criminal background check. For example, you might find newspaper reports about a criminal incident your boyfriend was involved in, even if he was never arrested or charged with a crime. Hiring a private investigator might be the most costly option, but it will give you the most thorough results.He keeps on asking very personal questions and asking for details.

I tried to lie but he found out, so I honestly told him everything. He suggested breaking up, but I love him very much. Without the issue of my past we are really happy, so how can I make him forget about my past? I was still a virgin when I met him, and to make him feel better I had sex with him. It was my first time and it was his first time too. Although you may feel like you are, the fact is that you are not helpless. You are in control of your own life, and once you accept that you have this power, you probably will be happier.

Too many people give away control of their lives for the sake of unhealthy relationships. They do it in order to stay in the relationship, only to find that they are trapped in something truly miserable, or that their partner will leave them anyway. Thus, I would stop trying to placate him and start thinking about what you want.

Everyone has a past. As you correctly pointed out, our pasts are over. They are done and cannot be changed. Moreover, there is nothing wrong with engaging in sexual behavior with previous partners as long as all involved were consenting adults. The only way partners can deal with such a situation is to set boundaries around the topic and make it off-limits. Once you have explored it ad nauseum as it sounds like you havewhy continue?

If he wants to continue being upset about it, he can do so without your participation. I find it disturbing that your boyfriend has said cruel things and called you names. Relationships that are healthy are nurturing and considerate of both partners, not just one. Sex should be something that is engaged in when both partners want it and feel special because of it. Although your past may be the only topic that is problematic currently, the behaviors exhibited because of it are unhealthy and probably indicative of future troubles.

Consequently, I strongly suggest that you re-examine your relationship. No one, especially not someone who loves you, should be verbally abusive towards you.

Those behaviors are symptomatic of an abusive relationship. If you are feeling helpless now, chances are that this feeling will get stronger with time. Thus, I recommend talking with a qualified mental health professional who could help you with this. A good counselor can help you regain your personal power and transform your relationships into better ones.

All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals.Two years ago, I did something absolutely intolerable and absolutely horrific. Let alone a confused year-old girl.

I had always been connected to both my culture and my faith. So when I did get a boyfriend, it was kind of like an identity shock. Was I doing the right thing? Obviously not, but I myself was in denial. I used those aspects of my identity to justify my relationship. When things starting getting serious with this boy, it was strange but in a good way. I felt like I was finally able to experience being a teenager.


I was rebelling against my parents by hiding this relationship. I would constantly lie about my whereabouts without thinking twice about it. It was especially thrilling because this boy was a year older than me and he went to a different high school. This meant no normal dates.

I refused to step foot into a restaurant or the local mall with him out of fear for a family friend or relative seeing us. But to be completely honest, I got over the idea of being in a relationship really quickly. The only real reason I was in it was that it was foreign territory to me and I wanted to rebel. Call me traditional, but go through what I went through and you would easily say the same thing.

Fast forward a year and a half to the worst day and experience of my entire life.

I Lied to My Boyfriend about My Past

I came home from school one day feeling super happy and ecstatic about God knows what. All I remember was that it was a pretty good day at school. As soon as I walked in, I said hello to my parents and rushed upstairs to change, do my homework, etc. A few minutes later, my mom walked into my room and told me my dad wanted to talk to me about something. So naturally, I took my phone and deleted any suspicious pictures, text messages, etc.

But I wanted to be fully prepared. I hid my phone in my clothing drawer as I nervously walked downstairs and into the office room. There was my dad, a dramatic and worrisome expression plastered across his face. My heart dropped. My dad began talking, and my heart started racing as I could feel tears fill my eyes. Then, my dad pulled up pictures on his laptop.

Pictures of me and my boyfriend, together. Of us holding hands and pictures of us at homecoming a few days earlier. I was mortified and in complete shock. I was speechless.